Monday, January 12, 2009


The things people chose to get tattooed onto their body never ceases to amaze me.

I don't even publicly admit that I occasionally listen to the Counting Crows. What would possess someone to get the visage of the whiny melodramatic pineapple head lead singer Adam Duritz tattooed onto their back is beyond my ability to comprehend.

Congratulations asshat, you are now the laughing stock of every pool party, beach volleyball game, and sexual encounter you participate in for the rest of your life.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Friday, October 31, 2008

Missed Connections

I was exploring craigslist today and found a disturbing and highly entertaining little section under the personals entitled missed connections.

Found within is a whole trainload of crazy. This delusion gone too far generally begins with the poster seeing the "victim" somewhere out in public . The victim may unwittingly return a smile, brush against an elbow, exchange a glance, say hello, or nothing at all.

This then triggers a fantasy in the poster's mind whereby they dream up a relationship, marriage, sex, or child with the "victim". Here is a sample:

Hendersonville Rd - Thursday - m4m - 45 (Skyland)
You were driving a Suburban south on Hendersonville Rd between 145 and 2 pm in the left lane just past Applebees. I was in the right lane, and you turned and gave me a big head nod and a great smile just as you passed me. You are VERY good-looking...tell me what your license plate number is so I'll know it's you.

I want to create a email macro that automatically responds to all of these postings with an email that simply states: THAT WAS ME!!! Then I can check my inbox every morning for a new batch of funny.

Monday, October 20, 2008


I have now been made to feel officially old as fuck. Maybe this is a sign from the heavens that it is time to delete the myspace page?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Did anyone watching the debates notice

John McCain at the end of each of his talking segments would get a "I just kicked some ass" look on his face, then drop the microphone from his upper hand to the lower hand, grab it, and then spin around. It made me laugh my ass off.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


Do booty dancing girls and my mortgage payments have in common? Just asking.

Monday, October 6, 2008